Last updated Tuesday, May 14, 2019.
Let’s be honest here, hardly anyone reads these, but I’m bound by laws both in the United States and abroad (yeah, GDPR–I’m looking at you) to have this here, easy for you to access, easy for you to read, and easy for you to understand.
Look, I’m all for protecting one’s data, both my own and those who I interact with. And I’m all against long, boring, tedious privacy policies that take a law degree to remotely understand.
So I’m going to make this as simple, and straight-forward as I possibly can, for my own sanity in writing this, because I’m bound by law to do so, and because I really truly believe in transparency and not being shady and sneaky.
Full disclosure: I have no idea if this is even compliant. But this is my best stab at it based on reading 18,629,457 articles about the GDPR (and according to Google, I only have about 29,405,423 more to read) and my overall moral compass of being as transparent as humanly possible.
Also: I use “January Creative LLC,” "January Creative," “I,” and “me” interchangeably, but they mean the same thing. It’s only me, myself, and I over here (for now).
Ok, enough word soup, on to the policy.
Well, I tried my best to make this short and sweet, but if you just came here for the highlights, in no particular order, here you go:
Now to the long version.
Yum cookies. Man, I wish I was talking about the chocolate chip kind and not the digital no-one-even-knows-they-exist kind.
It’s likely that when you got to my site, some service or function added a cookie to your browser (think of it much like a little morsel of chocolate - without it, you don’t have a chocolate chip cookie, you just have a cookie, and just a cookie is super boring). This cookie helps things function and also tracks you as you navigate through my site.
If you wish to block these cookies, change your browser settings to block cookies from my site (and others, if you feel like going on a cookie fast). You can also go into your browser settings to clear all cookies or even see what cookies are stored.
Based on your interactions with January Creative LLC (from either just browsing the site all the way to hiring me for the big bucks projects), the following is a non-inclusive but a pretty damn close list of data I may have on you.
It’s likely that one of my three tracking services caught you in the act (Google Analytics, StatCounter, or my hosting provider Skytoaster). Somewhere in these services, they collected your IP (internet protocol) address, your ISP (internet service provider), the browser you were using, the size of your screen, where you are located (or really, where your IP address says you are located), how you got to my site, what page(s) you visited, what page did you leave my site on, how long you were here, and any return trips. You get the idea.
If you wish for this not to happen, then you’ll need to block cookies, which I described above.
If you signed up before May 25, 2018, and didn’t sign up again in the two obnoxious emails I sent asking you to, then I have deleted your data and you’ll never get another email from me unless you sign up again.
If you signed up after May 20, 2018, then I got your explicit, direct (and whatever else I’m supposed to call it) permission to send you emails, including my email newsletter.
There’s also the chance that you signed up for my newsletter through a freebie you’ve wanted to download, through something you’ve bought from my website, or some other way (of which I have a record of).
If you’ve hired me to do some work for you (no matter how big or how small, but chances are we signed an agreement together), I have a ton of data on you in this case, but you pretty much agreed that it was ok for me to get it or you’ve given it to me during the whole signing-of-the-agreement act.
These are the services that likely have some or all of your data on my behalf:
These are the services I currently use that *may* have your data, but they could change. If for some reason they do, I’ll add them to this list and/or list the date last used.
I have no earthly clue what their privacy policies are, so if you reach out to me using any social media platform that I use (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or any of the other 2948 social media networks), you should look into their privacy policy as far as data is concerned.
I doubt that I will ever use your social media stuff without you knowing about it ahead of time or getting some notification. But there may be a chance I retweet your public tweet, share your public review, share your public picture(s), or even follow/like you back. But I don’t plan to be a stalker about it or use it to directly contact you and sell you stuff without you knowing about it ahead of time.
You have the government-given (in the EU at least) right to be deleted. If your government didn’t afford you that right, here is me, giving you that right where it comes to my website.
If you want to be deleted, email me at [email protected] or call me at 615.544.5010. All you have to do is prove who you are and I’ll delete everything I legally can without causing legal distress on myself (for instance, I cannot delete purchase history or anything to do with money you gave me or I gave you (if you’re lucky) because Uncle Sam tends to think that could constitute tax evasion and I’m not about to be locked up for that.
Seriously, if you just don’t want me to know you exist (outside of the mandatory legal requirements), then just hit me up and I’ll delete it.
I wrote this privacy policy, and one day, when I get enough pennies together, I’ll have my lawyer review it. In the meantime, just know I don’t like to be shady. I like my sleep and don’t want to lay there stressed out that I did something with your data that you may get angry at me for. I’m pretty fond of my sleep.
I also have no idea of this is compliant with any laws or regulations I’m placed under, but I tried my very best to make this very clear, concise, but detailed, worth reading, and informative. But if you have a question about it, let me know at [email protected] and I’ll answer it then bask in the enjoyment of updating my privacy policy to answer your question for others (and the most exciting part, getting to change the date at the top and bottom of this policy!)
Last updated Tuesday, May 14, 2019.
I’m quirky without much help and filled with lots of dry humor with absolutely no help, but I got to admit, doing a passive-aggressive, but in a friendly way, privacy policy was not entirely 100% my idea. The writers over at Writers’ HQ did it way better, and deserve the shoutout for giving me the inspiration to do this one.
Congrats on getting to the end of this legally required but hopefully only slightly boring privacy policy. Please go here to enjoy your reward.